Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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