just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
