dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
