He disabled his match.com account in front of me
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
