Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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