hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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