I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
he told me I talked like a deaf person
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
