he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
