Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
