i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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