they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
