I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
