at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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