so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
