the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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