I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
