So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
