im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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