you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize
