You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
