and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
zippers are such a cool invention
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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