i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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