Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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