Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
