Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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