we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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