Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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