yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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