Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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