You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
