I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
