On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
