can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
