I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
