We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
