He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
