New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
