i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Less talking, more tequila
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
