This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
