Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
