There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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