Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
