My nipple is on Facebook.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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