I can tuck mytits in my pants
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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