My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
