i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
