she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
