Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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