dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Randomize
