There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
