susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
